At The The Heart Of It All….

5/8/10 This past Friday was Military Spouse Appreciation Day and of course, I have immense mixed emotions. President Obama issued the following proclamation, “we reaffirm our steadfast commitment to supporting and honoring the husbands, wives, and loved ones of our Nation’s servicemembers.” As a military spouse, I have met incredible individuals who certainly deserve to be honored. Unfortunately, this honor is bittersweet coming from someone like me. I am no less of a supportive spouse, yet I am not supported by the Military. In fact, I am invisible and Jo is simply single.

The President eloquently described the difficult job of a military spouse who is ‘at the heart of our Armed Forces.’ I was impressed by his gesture until I was reminded that for me his words are meaningless. The President made promises of, “increasing servicemembers’ compensation as well as funding for better housing, job training, counseling, outreach, and support for spouses and their families.”

Well, Mr. President, what about us, the gay spouses? You know we deserve the support just as much as the next wife. You say that your administration is seriously committed to ‘fulfilling our obligations to them’ but don’t you think those obligations should include ALL servicemembers, not just the heterosexual ones?

Let us honor the spouses and families who support our servicemembers, including all of us invisible ones.


  1. Hey Izzy James -- you're awesome! I can't believe I never knew about your blog. I guess SEO doesn't like you or something.

    I've put you on my blogroll. It's always nice to see I'm not the only one dealing with this DADT bullshit.

  2. wow, this is inspiring to read, I am just starting as a Navy girlfriend and have wondered where the lesbian Navy gfs/fiancees/wives were all hiding!
    Please keep writing, its nice to know I'm not the only one going through this, and it's just the beginning.

  3. Finally someone else! I have been living this Wife but not a Wife life for over a year now. It is so exhausting. Thanks for sharing.