I know I have been slacking! But in my defense, I have completed our unpacking. Sweaters and sweatshirts are officially available for use (not that I'm saying one way or the other if we are in a climate where sweaters are needed.)
Anyhoo, I've organized, cleaned, vacuumed, and decluttered our little home. I admit this came about due to a small (very small- thank you, God) infestation of fleas. Once I began, I was maniacal. Damn, does it feel good; my mind cleansed and my body aches. I implore each of your to take a little time before the holiday season and get your life in order. It is surprising how this obsessive compulsive task will help pave the way for a solid road of productivity.
More to come later today, I'm feeling so inspired by my lemon and bleach scented home.
Good Morning from Navyland. ( I need to make up a fictitious location; I am too detail-orientated to leave so many facts about our home out.) First, and foremost: I wanted to update you on the goings on...I've been a busy bee.
I've been asked to write for LGR:LezGetReal. Visit the site.
My first two articles are linked and pasted below.
You can also now follow me on Twitter! Follow Me.
(I'm very new to this but it is kind of addicting.)
At the end of June, I quit my lucrative job with great benefits and vacation time. I packed up our studio and planned a night out to say farewell to family and friends. I left my very OUT life to go back in the closet; I did this for love. I followed my heart and my partner, Jo, who is serving active duty in the military.
In this closeted journey, there are good and bad days. Sometimes Jo is home for a long weekend, other nights I’m all alone wishing I could join one of the many groups for military wives. Up until now, I’ve documented our experience via my personal blog. This will be my first opportunity to reach a large-scale audience. Today is a good day and a great step in my plight for equal rights.
According to the Urban Institute, there are at least 65,000 gay Americans serving active duty. Another 13,000 have been discharged since 1994 under the DADT policy. Unfortunately, the number of invisible partners and children remains completely undetermined.
Although thrilled to speak on behalf of other closeted military spouses, I am also petrified. My family and friends share my fears. Everyone asks, “What does Jo think about ‘going public’?”
I questioned her this morning over blueberry pancakes.
“I’m deleting my Facebook,” she joked. Looking at me with those warm eyes I fell in love with, she added “I’m very proud of you. You’re not just telling our story; you are sharing the story of so many. You need to do this, Izzy. There are couples who have been living like this for decades. It’s time the silence is broken.”
With Jo’s blessing, I would like to introduce myself to the LezGetReal community. I’ve been asked to report on DADT but I must warn you, I am not your typical reporter. While I will bring you breaking news coming off Capital Hill, I also plan to share an inside perspective of the discrimination we face on a day-by-day basis.
The Washington Post/ABC News conducted a poll in July 2008, which found that 75 percent of Americans favor allowing gays to serve in the military. For a country engrossed in the gay marriage debate, why is there not a louder discussion, a stronger push for President Obama to follow through on his campaign promise to repel DADT.
While Jo and I sit and anxiously await news from Congress and the Pentagon, she could lose her job just for being associated with me. I’m not talking about holding my hand or making out at a gay club (although those are obvious reasons for discharge). She cannot be prosecuted for her gay ‘status;’ however, any evidence of homosexual conduct could get her discharged. ‘Evidence’ could include personal letters, emails, or even ownership of gay-themed DVDs. I guess I should burn our L Word collection?
Everyone affected by DADT has been too afraid to talk about it. Jo was recently in a discrimination workshop led by the military. The moderator asked for examples of discriminatory policies. One woman boldly responded, “Homosexuality.” The moderator gasped, “Wow. Yes. This is the first time anyone has ever said that.”
Jo and I were appalled but not shocked. Why would anyone mention such a taboo subject? The woman who shared her opinion openly was able to do so because she is in a heterosexual marriage.
Harvey Milk once said, “The only ways we’ve ever made advances are when we’ve named the dream. Not the crumbs, not the little pieces around the edges. You have got to name the dream, or you’ll never get it.”
My dream is equal rights for ALL of our servicemen and women. I am not simply addressing the freedom to be out. They should also have the right to care and provide for their loved ones, the same rights as their straight counterparts.
And secretly, my dream is to kiss my (wo)man in uniform just like any other military wife.
I’m passionate about this cause, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell-well actually, gay rights, in general. However, I have never been one to write letters. I didn’t send it yet; I’m considering it. Jo is working long hours now so I need to discuss it with her when she gets home.
Today, I read something in Jo’s copy of Navy Times that really inspired me…
So I got my butt in gear and wrote this letter… Comments are welcomed.
Dear Ms. Obama,
Michelle. I’m sorry to call you Michelle; I mean no disrespect. I am one of your biggest fans.
I have been so inspired and driven because of you and your husband. I am Isabell James, a lesbian navy “wife” (we can’t make it official because my partner could be fired for trying to buy me a diamond.) As a fellow woman, wife, driven professional, and lover of civil rights, I ask you to empathize. We need your help.
In this week’s Navy Times*, it was reported that Navy and military officials are “moving out aggressively” in an attempt to end the ban on women aboard submarines. I’m hoping things go well. The article is hopeful but the last quote is a punch to the gut.
Ian Dent, who served for 23 years on Trident submarines, told the New York Times, “I can tell you emphatically that placing women on submarines would destroy the tight-knit cohesiveness necessary for the smooth operation of a submarine.”
Doesn’t that argument sound familiar?
I keep forgetting women are not equals in the military. Neither are homosexuals. It seems like such an odd argument to be having in 2009 with a black man leading our nation for the first time in history. I didn’t realize my girlfriend couldn’t serve on a sub. If I do say so myself, that sucks.
The end of this ban is a step in the right direction on behalf of the military ending discriminatory policies. Maybe you can point the article out to Barack over dinner (the girls might enjoy it too… I think it is a big step for all women to know about.) I hope he finds this possible change indicative of things to come for the military.
And perhaps he could say something about gay military rights one day soon to inspire this little gay community (all 65,000-plus family) who loved him so much last November? We’re on the edge of our seats over here. Give us something to keep from falling off.
“The only ways we’ve ever made advances are when we’ve named the dream. Not the crumbs, not the little pieces around the edges. You have got to name the dream, or you’ll never get it.”
My dream is equal rights for ALL of our servicemen and women. I am not simply addressing the freedom to be out. They should also have the right to care and provide for their loved ones, the same rights as their straight counterparts.
