Shopping on Base….for a husband?!?

Jo had some extra time for lunch; she had enough time to meet me at the gate, sign me in, and escort me back to the gate after lunch.  Prior to our meal at the foodcourt, we shopped around the NEX (Navy Exchange=everything is discounted and tax-free. )  I suppose some of you would call me a ‘lipstick lesbian.’  I hate the cliché term, but love my makeup, dresses and handbags, so you certainly aren’t wrong.  The NEX is truly one of my most favorite parts of being an illegitimate Navy 'wife.'  Jo must accompany me in and out of the store as I am not able to carry a military id; however, it is Heaven all the same.  Where else, for a discounted rate, can you pick up a new computer, flat screen TV, and bohemian style purse?  No matter how many times I go, the experience is blissful.

Post power shopping, our appetites called and to the food court we went.  We bumped into a couple of Jo’s co-workers and they were amped to have lunch with her and her very girly “roommate.”  Small, petite and not so Navy-like, Kiki might be the most upbeat person I have ever met.  Her boyfriend, Luke, thinks he is an all-American dream.  They are the kind of military couple you could picture sitting on the back of a red pick-up with seven brats dressed up in red, white and blue.  But Kiki means well; I think.

I used to get nervous around men and women in uniform; however, the fascination and intimidation is slowly wearing off.  Despite our new lunch companions, my bliss from the NEX was still radiating.   For better or worse, I was more myself at lunch than I have ever been with Navy personnel.  I talked endlessly about my love of the exchange.

Jokingly, I told Kiki, “Oh my God, I’m joining the Navy, just for the discounts!”

Kiki responded, “No way!  We just need to find you a hot Navy man.”

BLOW. To the Gut.

In essence, mission accomplished.  I’m the cute, quirky, “single and straight” roommate of their favorite classmate.  Unfortunately, even if we did achieve at fooling everyone at lunch, it was a blow to my wifely ego.   How many more times in my life will I need to pretend I’m looking for a good man?

KIKI, if you are listening, thanks for the offer but I must pass, I have a great (hot) WOman.

Broccoli Cheese Soup with a Side of Heartache

For the most part, our life here feels pretty ordinary.  Jo and I eat a home-cooked meal each night as we review the events of our day. We have recently started working out together in the evenings.  Have I ever mentioned we have two pups?  We have two adorable little fluff balls that we will call our babies- at least until the real thing happens (ahem, another reason DADT needs to end ASAP…the clock is ticking.)

Then there are those days, the kind of day when you realize that you aren’t ‘ordinary.’  Those moments hit you in the stomach like bad sushi.  In an earlier blog this summer, I described a sad little lunchtime moment I was having.   Ironically, earlier this week, Jo experienced a similar gut punch, also during lunchtime.

I believe she wears a protective cloak against the bigotry of the military.  While I have an entire blog, novel, and screenplay worked out in my head in response to the injustice, my sweetheart is just happy serving her country the same way her family has done.  She wakes up each day, takes off the clada ring she wears on her ring finger, and checks all details regarding her intimate evening with her lover as she shows her military id at the gate.  She does not let them bring her down.  Instead, she is gratuitous that they have afforded her the opportunity to achieve her life’s dream.

You can imagine my disbelief, when Jo called earlier this week with a tone of unmistakable sadness in her voice.  She was at work for what would be another long day.  Although they were not allowed to leave base, her co-worker was sitting there enjoying take-out.  Looking past broccoli cheese soup, Jo panned right to find his wife enjoying a quiet moment with him during a hectic day.

I’ve said it before, but I will say it again.  It is the simple things that make you feel the worst, the most discriminated against.  I know we cannot marry.  I know I cannot receive the federal same-sex domestic partner benefits.  I know that I must remain under the radar and a 'roommate' even though I love this woman with all of my heart.  The stuff that really gets me- and apparently Jo too, sometimes- are all of the little things, like lunch.

But be careful what you wish for; wait until you hear what happened when I actually did make it on base for a mid-day meal.